Melancholy

Listening to The Rose, the Lean Rimes version. I guess it was done by Bette Midler first ubt I like the sound of Rimes voice better. Good song though, kinda makes me wanna write again but I find I'm still have inspirational problems. Could be from a lot of things though, Grandma's death, failed desires, failed relationships, hard to say.

Finally saw Donnie Darko about a week ago, absolutely loved it. Ive heard the song "Mad World" a lot of times and I've always liked it but now that I've seen the movie I totally understand it better now, go figure. Always like the line "I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad the dreams in which I'm die'ing are the best I've ever had...". Feeling rather melancholy tonight, its that feel that somethings not quite right, just off a bit. I dunno. Could be that its Valentines day next weekend and this just isnt what I had planned it on being. A friend brought over Dragonage: Origins though and I suppose that'll kinda fill some of my time for now.

Getting taxes back soon, wanna go somewhere for a few days, hopefully San Fransisco or something in California, maybe cmaping in the redwoods when winter is more or less through.

Food

Food, absolutely love it. I am a fan of almost all things food. Great amounts of enjoyment can be found in making your own meal, carefully preparing the ingredients and skillfuly crafting them into something wonderful. But there is also much to be said for eating out, enjoying the creations of a fine restraunt or even a fast food place. Personally I'm partial to KFC, theres something about the mashed potatoes and gravy, and the chickens ok although not as good as I remember it being years ago. Taco Hell, McDonalds, Burger King are all places I eat when I have a craving for junk food or just dont have much time for anything else, not a huge fan of those particular places.

When it comes to finer dining I can think of several places that I have enjoyed over the years. One is the Greek Deli in Portland OR., their food is simply amazing, even more so for their fair pricing. I'm not overly picky about my food but I am rather critical of desserts. They have some of the best baklava Ive had.
At home theres plenty of seafood restraunts I love but Benettis, an Italian restraunt, is defiantely a favored restraunt. Its the whole style of the place that I like. Particularly the fact that its casual, it feels like an Italian home. I know the owner and operator, several of the waiter/waitresses and I have always felt welcome there. I dont think I've ever had a bad meal there either.
However if I'm going to have seafood at home I think the Hilltop House is the one place I can always trust to have superior seafood, fresh and expertly prepared. They also haves stuffed mushrooms like Ive never had before and cant imagine I will again.
Las Vegas is definately a city I could stay in for a year and never eat at the same place twice if I didnt want. Although secluded in the middle of the mojave desert they have some of the best foods both seafood and otherwise that is always fresh, imported daily. I cant begin to count the number of different places I've eaten there but the Rainforest Cafe, although not only in Las Vegas, is one of the best in the city for its unique dining exerpience.
San Fransisco is another city I cant imagine finding a bad meal in. I was once at a small restraunt in China Town that was situated above another business and they had the most excellent pot stickers. Since that time I've eaten a lot of different pot stickers in different restaunt and most havent been that bad but this place was the best, hands down and I wish I could remember the name of it. I had breakfast the next morning along the whorf and I had scrambled eggs, corn beef and hash and it was freaking amazing. It wasnt overpowering on the seasoning, it was perfect.
The last time I was in Spokane, WA. I ate at this little restaunt with my ex-girlfriend and her friend and their burgers were fantastic. It was everything about the burger, they toasted the bun perfectly, made the burger just a little pink in the center, used a blend of things in their own sauce and their deserts were.....well interesting. It was the deep friend twinkie smothered in chocolate sauce and sprinkled with powdered sugar and cinnanom that caught my attention when her friend was talking about it, though my blood sugar and body just werent brave enough to even attempt that suicide mission.

Silver Lining.

Almost Valentines day, and this year I'm single. I say single instead of alone because....I dont really feel alone right now. I have loyal friends, and it just doesnt feel as alone. The last relationship was funa t first but it didnt work out, it didnt end with yelling or bad feelings. I think we both realized it just wasnt working. To me....thats a step in the right direction, that it wasnt something I was lacking, wasnt something I did wrong. We just werent working because we have different wants, different ideas of what life should be....and thats ok.

There's a girl I'm interested in but I dont wanna jump into anything, and frankly we have all the time in the world. There are other things I need to get accomplished first. I wanna go back to school, I wanna get to know someone really well, I want them to be interested in my writing, enjoy what I have to say and be my best friend as well as my lover. As it turns out I still have a great deal of hope for the world, go figure. I even have faith in mankind.

Ironically I wrote that last part as my head turned to watch a guy fake cumming on 40 Days and 40 Nights. If you havent seen it, watch it, damned funny. So I feel kinda random. You might ask what brings on this random celebration, well I had dessert with the ex tonight and it was good. We talked, she asked me to move in with her and her friend but I told her that her extracurricular lifestyle doesnt work with me and I just wouldnt tolerate living with it. But it was good cause she was ok with that and understood even if she wasnt happy about it.

I'm also looking forward to seeing Yellowstone this summer, Yosemite last year was incredible and there are times when I'm tired and laying in the bathtub that images of it still fill my mind. Always been a lover of nature. I'd love to go somewhere like that in the winter with someone, romantic getaway type of thing. Which makes me miss a friend who stayed with me for like 2 weeks recently, it was nice to have someone here to distract me from over analyzing myself.

Well I'm off to have a late dinner with another friend.