Quote Of The Day: "...How do you measure a year in the life? How about love?...." ~Rent (1996 broadway musical by Johnathan Larson)
Hello all, I return to you now on the the dawning of what proves to be an interesting summer. At long last I prepare to leave my home, my education begins, my closest friends and I seperate and it may be for good, a 16 year search for love will soon be ground to a halt to pursue knowledge and education, and I continue to keep a secret only Mr. Happy and Lips know. I face it all with great optimism. Oh, and I take a trip to Boston to visit Starfire for what might be my last vacation for a long time. Things are changing and for once I welcome the change. Right now im working and enjoying myself. I have late dinners with friends a lot, I play D&D quite often, I go to the beach and ponder things with friends, I have a new car which I like, but somehow things just dont seem right and I have that same lonely feeling I have always had and depression gets worse everyday though I fight back. I merely keep looking forward to the horizon.
I'm hoping that sometime ill find the time to go out with friends and drink a little and dance, I havent been dancing in a long time and im really bad at it anyway but I enjoy it. Sometimes you just need to get out there and have fun without too many thoughts of love, lust, romance, loss, school, hate, or anything else that can cloud the mind from enjoying a moment in time that doesnt consist of trying to voerthink the situation and just stop you from having fun with the people your with, enjoying their company, laughing that special laugh that comes from somewhere inside you and gives you this endorphined filled feeling, I look forward to the dar when someone, friend or lover or whatever can convince me to try something new that will allow me to just sit back and smile to myself and let go of this super tight hold I have over my life. Dont get me wrong the hold I have serves me well and I can control a lot of things to make my day to day life easier and I am amply rewarded for it by life but sometimes you dont want total control and in order to relax you need to let go and take it easy without having to be so uptight all the time. Sometimes people think im too uptight, that im arrogant, or that im too serious and most of the time I just ignore it but honestly that so isnt me and the people im close too will tell you that I cna be fun, I can be very happy and an enjoyable person to be around who likes to joke and flirt but that I get too caught up in things and I tend to overdramatize a lot. SO with any luck sometime ill get a chance to just go out somewhere with friends and enjoy a night or so of simple fun. So I think thats it for tonight, no big long speeches about life and how you should live it and a limited amount of self glorification, just a simple little post tonight. G'night all.
SVS
No comments:
Post a Comment