Friday, March 04, 2005

His Sword Bloodied, The Traveler Sat Down Against A Tree On The Edge Of A Great Field

Quote Of The Day: "Do you believe in destiny? That even the powers of time can beordered for a single purpose?" ~Dracula (Bram Stokers: Dracula, 1992)


Well I'm back, more or less, a little brusied and bloodied from the preverbial fields of battle but Ive survived and lived to fight another day. Did I retreat? No, I can honestly say I stood my ground, fought, and gave it my all until a silence settled over the battlefired. Was I victorious? Well, sometimes in war there is no victor, both sides simply lose resources and end up ceasing to fight and go home, such is the case here. I lost a lot but so did the other side. So where does that leave your glorious Lord? I'm a Lord who is tired of fighting for the moment, though that doesnt mean I wouldnt stand up and fight again if I had to. Love, my friends, is truly a battlefield, no matter hwo corny that is it is completely accurate. For now I leave that field of battle and fall back with my remaining forces to heal wounds, get rest, and perhaps get a new perspective. The only thing worse than losing a battle is not winning it but not losing it either. As always my allies were waiting just behind the drawn lines, waiting to offer comfort and support. But we cannot hope to forever rely upon them for they too fight their own battles across the fields of eternity. When they say that love is a battlefield its true but it should also be explained that love is only a battlefied, life is the war we fight and we fight against death and unhappiness. The point of the battle with love is to fight as hard as possible and, depending upon who your are, to either win, lose, or join forces. If you win you end up dominating the other person thorughout life, if you lose then you are dominated, but for me I seek an alliance to combine my forces and their so that together we can forge ahead in the war together. In the case of friends, they are merely allies, but when you join with someone in the battle of love you are more than allies you are one whole force. Right now I am Lord Shawn and I stand alone on the fields of eternity facing down my enemys with wavering honor, and failing courage. I seek an ally to bolster my forces and my strength. There are very very very few of us who can stand alone in this war and live to a natural age, we simply do not have the strength to varry on without another, our strength fails and we lose our mettle. And yes, it must be a female ally, for me men dont hold what I need. I tend to believe that most of us seek the opposite sex because it is the combination of the two sexes that form together to make a more perfect union, a coupling that enables both to bear the weight of the world because they each have unique talents that help. With a same sex alliance its different you merely bolster what you already have instead of forming something new, and theres nothing wrong with that, its merely a choice. I'm far more interested in creating something new and different than bolstering what I already have. I know what men are like, and its great to be a man but I wouldnt want to live with one forever and share each portiong of my life with one. Instead I find that women hold much more appeal but I do not discredit those who choose the same sex, blessings to all and to each one for just making a choice can be the hardest thing in life.
My apologies for not posting sooner but theres been a lot I had to think about and I really did feel like being alone, I still do a little, but I figured it had been long enough. Unfortunately I have also found that relying upon various friends to carry through with things that might have made me feel a little better and perhaps given them something in return can be hopeless. I dont feel badly towards any one particular friend, its just that actually relying on some of them is something I cant apparently do.

SVS

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