Quote Of The Day: "Too often we hide in the light, cowering away from the darkness. Never fear to embrace the dark and find the beauty in it. It is in the darkness that some of us find who we truly are." Anonymous
....................Sometimes its just hard to find anything to say when all you can think about is how much you'd like to change yourself simply for the sake of another. I had another blog all written out yesterday, nothing overly special but a long one about life and various ideals of love. For so long all I have thought about is love and all those wonderful ideas that surround it. I have found myself asking, why? The answer seems both simple and horribling confusing at the same time. It is because I enjoy shutting myself off from the world, to sit in quiet solitude away from the masses that wallow in their odd pleasures so foreign to me. To most of the world I am a cold and indifferent intellectual who cares for nothing more than his books and his thoughts. I find it sad that no one knows how incredibly wrong that is, well no one save for a few. Of course my friends but most importantly Angel knows better. When even close friends feel that my demeanor can be icy she knows how warm and passionate I am, how I enjoy being close and affectionate to her. Starlight also knows but im not sure the rest do. Whats funny is that I dont really care what anyone else thinks, just what Angel thinks. Now what brings about all these confessional thoughts? Well lately I've been drinking with friends a lot and alcohol is a depressant and often has this after-effect on me so it comes as no surprise. But do not mistake this affect for a substitution of the truth because though I am not in high spirits I am just as honest as ever with my words here. Though my words are sometimes cryptic and my meanings questionable I am always honest in this forum.
I have been housesitting since the 17th and it comes to an end tomorrow but I must say that I have enjoyed my time here while it lasted. I ahve enjoy great amounts of solitude as well as great amounts of time spent with friends drinking and talking. And a rather content and happy night spent with Angel. So nice to have such a wonderful weakness.
SVS
A journey into the mind of madness and into the heart of the confused.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Monday, December 27, 2004
Quote Of The Day: "If Music Be THe Food Of Love, Play On" ~William Shakespeare
Since about the 17th I have been housesitting for some friends of the family and since I've been here alone, save for their dog, I have had a lot of time to think about things. The other day I was considering architechture, love, and women. Many times I've been told my poetry often holds women on pedastals or sets them too high. I find this quite amusing, because I dont put women on pedastals and certainly dont hold them beyond my own reach. Rather I think that women are put on pedastals so much as they are pedastals. The idea is that, for men, the women we adore and love often times become our pedastals, vessels that hold us higher than we normally are, make us feel like gods. Thats probably why we seek out these women, because with them we are more than what we are, we start to realize and feel our potential. But I dont think its entirely one sided either, I think women enjoy being vessels of divine inspiration, knowing that they have such a profound affect upon our psyche. In a way we make women feel every bit the goddess just as they inspire feelings of godhood in us. Now has this anything to do with me? With my arrogance and dillusions of godhood? Yes, I cannot deny it. A woman is the key to my arrogance, the source of my divinity. And right now I am rather imbued with my dillusions. Yes good friends Angel is the source of my power, so to speak. I feel exceptionally well now since I spent time with her the other day and I felt (feel) closer to her, to you Angel, than I have in a very long time. I enjoy my privacy and aloofness for the most part but in Angels case I enjoy the closeness and intamacy that we share. Id like to take a moment here and point out something. I spent last night with my oldest friend sharing beer and talking and repairing a badly damaged friendship. All is well with Pvt. Jackass now but he did tell me one thing that I disagreed with. He told me that Angel was not someone I should invest much of myself in, I believe he called her a stepping stone to better things. I know how harsh that sounds but the Pvt. was just stating what he felt was true, which is somewhat comendable if not condemable. Angel you KNOW that I dont feel that way, you are'nt part of my path to greatness, your part of the greatness that I strive for. Even though im sure being with the Garcon De Fille makes you somewhat happy, though from my observations it isnt so, I cant describe the elation i'd get from you being single again. But thats just me, hard to explain. My time here in this house is coming to a close but, Angel I need to see you more often.
SVS
Since about the 17th I have been housesitting for some friends of the family and since I've been here alone, save for their dog, I have had a lot of time to think about things. The other day I was considering architechture, love, and women. Many times I've been told my poetry often holds women on pedastals or sets them too high. I find this quite amusing, because I dont put women on pedastals and certainly dont hold them beyond my own reach. Rather I think that women are put on pedastals so much as they are pedastals. The idea is that, for men, the women we adore and love often times become our pedastals, vessels that hold us higher than we normally are, make us feel like gods. Thats probably why we seek out these women, because with them we are more than what we are, we start to realize and feel our potential. But I dont think its entirely one sided either, I think women enjoy being vessels of divine inspiration, knowing that they have such a profound affect upon our psyche. In a way we make women feel every bit the goddess just as they inspire feelings of godhood in us. Now has this anything to do with me? With my arrogance and dillusions of godhood? Yes, I cannot deny it. A woman is the key to my arrogance, the source of my divinity. And right now I am rather imbued with my dillusions. Yes good friends Angel is the source of my power, so to speak. I feel exceptionally well now since I spent time with her the other day and I felt (feel) closer to her, to you Angel, than I have in a very long time. I enjoy my privacy and aloofness for the most part but in Angels case I enjoy the closeness and intamacy that we share. Id like to take a moment here and point out something. I spent last night with my oldest friend sharing beer and talking and repairing a badly damaged friendship. All is well with Pvt. Jackass now but he did tell me one thing that I disagreed with. He told me that Angel was not someone I should invest much of myself in, I believe he called her a stepping stone to better things. I know how harsh that sounds but the Pvt. was just stating what he felt was true, which is somewhat comendable if not condemable. Angel you KNOW that I dont feel that way, you are'nt part of my path to greatness, your part of the greatness that I strive for. Even though im sure being with the Garcon De Fille makes you somewhat happy, though from my observations it isnt so, I cant describe the elation i'd get from you being single again. But thats just me, hard to explain. My time here in this house is coming to a close but, Angel I need to see you more often.
SVS
Sunday, December 05, 2004
Though No Rain Came From The Iron Grey Sky Above The Traveler Could Not Help Feel Droplets Of Sadness Building On The Horizon
Quote Of The Day~ "One should not seek to tame the love of his life. Instead he should run free with her, enjoy the sense of freedom together for it is in freedom that we truly find each other and know the meaning of love" Anonymous
It seems that Mr. (or Ms.) Anonymous seems to have some of the most lovely quotes I've ever seen. I cannot agree more with this quote, so many people my age and older today seem to have the notion that being in love is a thing that limits you and contains you when the very idea of love is anything but limiting. Relationships today are treated with so much carelessness that it utterly apalls me. When you find someone that you care for more than anything you can imagine you should hold her image in your head constantly, be able to hear her voice in your mind with crystal clairity, and know the feel of her skin against your hands at every moment. When you are together you should feel free to say whatever is on your mind, even if you feel it is nagging because it wont matter, because that is the kind of communication you can have together and be able to understand that. I know that I harp on this subject of romance and love a lot but there is rhyme and reason to everything I do. I do this because somewhere in this world there is a woman who I have a great deal of loving affection for, someone who I am afraid is quickly falling into a place where one ceases to feel anything, a great hole of darkness to put it in a rather dramatic fashion. Still though, I stand at the edge of that precipce hoping that whatever small light I carry will be enough to guide her up and out with my help. I know that many of my blogs are becoming more like overly dramatic lectures on human nature but as I have stated so many times, it is my blog and I choose what to put here but it is you who choose to return and read my words, though I do thank you for your interest in my words. For now I away to bed to await the break of a new dawns day so that life in all her glory may wash over me for one more rotation of the globe.
SVS
It seems that Mr. (or Ms.) Anonymous seems to have some of the most lovely quotes I've ever seen. I cannot agree more with this quote, so many people my age and older today seem to have the notion that being in love is a thing that limits you and contains you when the very idea of love is anything but limiting. Relationships today are treated with so much carelessness that it utterly apalls me. When you find someone that you care for more than anything you can imagine you should hold her image in your head constantly, be able to hear her voice in your mind with crystal clairity, and know the feel of her skin against your hands at every moment. When you are together you should feel free to say whatever is on your mind, even if you feel it is nagging because it wont matter, because that is the kind of communication you can have together and be able to understand that. I know that I harp on this subject of romance and love a lot but there is rhyme and reason to everything I do. I do this because somewhere in this world there is a woman who I have a great deal of loving affection for, someone who I am afraid is quickly falling into a place where one ceases to feel anything, a great hole of darkness to put it in a rather dramatic fashion. Still though, I stand at the edge of that precipce hoping that whatever small light I carry will be enough to guide her up and out with my help. I know that many of my blogs are becoming more like overly dramatic lectures on human nature but as I have stated so many times, it is my blog and I choose what to put here but it is you who choose to return and read my words, though I do thank you for your interest in my words. For now I away to bed to await the break of a new dawns day so that life in all her glory may wash over me for one more rotation of the globe.
SVS
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